Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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