Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
