I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
