No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
