also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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