If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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