i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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