She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
