He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
