ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
