I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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