there's paper in my vomit.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
