no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
