Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
