I need help removing her.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
