My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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