this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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