I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
