look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
