we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
