great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
