my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
