I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
