and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize