Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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