I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
