brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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