I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
