I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dick very happy bro
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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