So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
