Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Go christen that room with your naked body.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
