Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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