It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
