So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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