Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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