my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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