a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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