Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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