im drinking this country out of the recession.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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