umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
