Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
