mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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