Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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