I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
