you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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