last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
