I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The Olympian is in my bed
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize