Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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