Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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