Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
