she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize