don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There r osticjed everywhere
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
