she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize