im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But theres a keg here and me gusta
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need a beard to bite.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
