isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
