too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
