I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
