I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize