Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
