Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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