The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
