he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
be right there i have to get my cape
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
