..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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