I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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