I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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