i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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